Covering them with Shame

Most of us have a really high view of David.  Many of us haven’t studied 1 & 2 Samuel.  Those of us who have may have a slightly or even radically different view of David.  Yes, he was a man after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13:14 (here @ BibleGateway)), but he was not exemplary in his behavior.

In 2 Samuel 18:33 – 19:7 (here @ BibleGateway) we read about David’s reaction to the death of his rebellious, betraying son, Absalom.  In 19:5 – 6 (here @ BibleGateway) we Joab rebukes David, saying, 

Today you have covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who today have saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines, by loving those who hate you, and by hating those who love you. For you have shown today that princes and servants are nothing to you; for I know this day that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. 

As a leader David, diminished what his people did for him by not showing gratitude for their risking their lives to protect him, restore him to the throne, and punish one who not only rebelled but cruelly shamed him before Israel.

One of the lessons we can learn from this is that our reaction to people who are doing things for us is important.  Those who are close to us, our wives, children, grandchildren will do things for us and we need to be effusive in our gratefulness.  If we are  not we are ignoring their demonstration of love and effectively pushing them away from us.  It is not quite covering them with shame but at some level it has as similar impact.

Bill Bryan Memorial

Bill Bryan was the chaplain at Dallas Theological Seminary when I studied there.  My wife was in Mothers of Pre-Schoolers, MOPS, with his wife Shirley, the entire time that we were there.  Jenny became very close to Shirley.

After I graduated, the Fuller institute asked me to move my family of six to Pasadena to take over management of the project on which I had been working for the past year and a half.  Jenny and I flew to CA, and she looked for housing while I worked on three seminars with Carl George.

That week she looked at 110 houses, none of which we could afford.  At the end of the week I told Carl that we could not make it work financially, and he told me I would need to find somewhere else to work.

I was thinking through that as well as what I could do on our flight back to Dallas.  Jenny was very quiet.  Half way back she reminded me that it was her 40th birthday.  In the midst of the stress and drama, I had forgotten.  I made my first cellular phone call from an airplane to get a cake ready for us when we landed.  But that did not make a dent.

Several days later, Bill and Shirley joined us for dinner as a surprise for Jenny.  That helped get me partially out of the dog house.

That was the people they were.  That snippet did not come close to many of the stories I have heard.

His memorial service was yesterday.  His three sons spoke.  It would be worth your time as a father to hear what they had to say.  It will set a high bar for you as a father.  I do not know how long this link will be available.  I highly recommend that you watch this, click here.  The service is a bit down the page...worth looking for it.

Also, Dr. Mark Bailey's message was the best I have ever heard at a memorial service.

Producing Love?

This morning 1 Corinthians 13 was in my reading project.  You know the chapter, love.  Chances are if you have been to a wedding you have heard the passage read.

One of the things about the Word of God that continues to astound me, is how it continues to reveal more in passages that are “familiar”.  Today was no exception.  When I have read or studied this chapter in the past, and if I were pressed the number of passes may be in excess of a hundred, I have always viewed it as an exhortation and a balance to the surrounding chapters on gifts.

While I am still processing what I saw this morning, it was different.

As I was reading through the passage, again, 1 John 4:8 came to mind; specifically, “…God is Love”.  Hard on the heels of that thought, Galatians 5:22 forced its way into my consciousness, “…the fruit of the Spirit is love…”  Now, I may be courting heresy here, but it seems like the love in 1 Corinthians 13 is not something that we can do on our own.

John 15:5 joined the other verses clamoring for attention.  If I do not abide in Christ, I cannot do anything, which would seem to include love.

John 8:31 – 32, and John 15:7, seem to suggest that the Word of God plays some part in our abiding in Christ.

If this line of thinking is correct, one would expect that a person who is not regularly abiding in the Word, abiding in Christ, is incapable of love.  That would also seem to suggest that the things that are presented as love by those who are not so abiding, are not actually love.

Believing Men, who are charged with loving their wives, with raising their children in the Lord, and loving others as themselves, who are not consistently in the Word of God, have no hope of doing any of those assignments.

Even when we are consistently in the Word, if we are not allowing the Word to impact us, to change the way we think (Romans 12:1 – 2), if we are not trusting Him to love through us.  We are pretty much guaranteed to fail.

From Strength to Weakness

Uzziah’s life is instructive.  We find him in 2 Chronicles 26.

Look at the contrast between 2 Chronicles 26:4 - 5 and 26:16 - 21.

Verses 4 – 5 describe Uzziah as:

• Doing right in the sight of the Lord
• Continuing to Seek God
• Prospered by God

But verses 16 – 21 describe him as:

• Strong
• Proud
• Corrupt
• Unfaithful to the Lord

What happened?  How did Uzziah move from following hard after the Lord to proud, corrupt, and unfaithful?

He succeeded.  He did so well that he begin to take credit for what the Lord had done for him.

There is a harsh lesson there for us.

John 15:5 reminds us that we are not able to do anything apart from Christ.  We are completely dependent on His grace for all that we do.  So, say that our kids are turning out OK.  Say that our marriage is clicking on all cylinders.  Say that we are effective in leading people in our workplace to the Lord.  Say that we are helping others to grow in their relationship to the Lord.

Say we start to think that we are doing really well in this Christian life thing.

As Uzziah we begin to take credit.  When things are going well, it is easy to forget who is really behind those good times.

Uzziah may counsel that is not such a good idea.

How to Show the Way

The great thing about the Bible is that it gives us a model, several actually, of how to engage in sharing our faith with others.  Yesterday we looked at the power of our personal testimony.  The power of sharing the impact that our relationship with Christ has on us.

One model we have for sharing our testimony is Paul in Acts 26.  Look at how Paul shares his story with Agrippa:

• Acts 26:4 – 11 – What Paul was like before he met Christ.
• Acts 26:12 – 18 – How Paul met Christ
• Acts 26:19 – 23 – How Paul’s relationship with Christ has impacted him.

Note that there is a connection between Paul’s experience before and after meeting Christ.  He was zealous against the faith prior to meeting Christ and zealous for the faith after.

So the pattern is before, how, and after.  Note that if you read it out loud as if you were sharing it, it only takes about two and a half minutes.

Not long.

Effective.

One thought connect, if you can, before and after like Paul did.

Showing the Way

Have you ever needed to show someone how to share their faith?  Their testimony is the easiest way for them to start.

Someone I recently met in a country where Christianity is suppressed was asked by a family member why they were so happy all of the time.  The person shared that they had trusted Christ.  It was a risk.  It was a testimony.

The family member did not immediately react.  Shortly after though that family member went on a religious pilgrimage.  Half way through the pilgrimage they returned home.  They told my friend that those on the pilgrimage were continually fighting, stealing from each other, and stealing from stores on the way.  They said to my friend, “These people cannot behave this way while serving a true god.  Tell me more about Jesus.”

Simple identification with Christ, contrasted with the dominant religion in the area, led this person to the Lord.

How do you help someone share their testimony?  I will outline a way that may help you tomorrow.

Revisiting Friends

I am doing an overview of 2 Corinthians.  It is for the Tuesday group.  The way we approach a book is overview, section by section analysis, and finally, a synthesis or summary of what we have learned.

This is not the first or second time I have studied this book.  But as in every other book, I saw things that I have not seen in previous studies and that was just from reading through the book.  I highlighted several verses for a closer look as I went through.

• 1:5
• 1:10 – 11
• 3:14
• 3:17 – 18
• 4:13
• 5:15
• 6:17
• 7:4
• 11:3
• 11:15
• 11:28

I was deeply moved by some of what Paul shares.

If you are not in a group that forces you to look intently and consistently at His Word.  Find one.

Character?

Question
Is character important in a Christian leader?  Seems so, 1 Timothy 3:1 – 13; Titus 1:5 – 9.  So if one who presents as a Christian leader does not have this type of character, how should we respond to them?

Genesis of the Question
This morning I got an email from an old friend, with whom I am in the Word weekly.  We both have been laboring in the ministry at different levels for the past 40+ years.  He sent me a quote that his wife had found about the use of commentaries, here it is:

Coming to the Bible through commentaries is much like looking at a landscape through garret windows, over which generations of unmolested spiders have spun their webs. – Henry Ward Beecher, American Congregationalist clergyman, social reformer, and speaker (1813 - 1887)

Why Ask?
My friend sent the quote because he knew that when I work with men and pastors in Bible study I emphasize that commentaries are resources that one uses only after one has completed their own study.  He was right I love the quote.  However…

Good Source?
I was familiar with Beecher’s name but not much about him as an individual.  I do not remember his name coming up in my Church history class, and I just checked one of the textbooks and he was not mentioned there either.  So I searched for him on the web.  Wikipedia had this entry:

Beecher married Eunice Bullard in 1837 after a five-year engagement. Their marriage was not a happy one; as Applegate writes, "within a year of their wedding they embarked on the classic marital cycle of neglect and nagging", marked by Henry's prolonged absences from home. The couple also suffered the deaths of four of their eight children. 

Beecher enjoyed the company of women, and rumors of extramarital affairs circulated as early as his Indiana days, when he was believed to have had an affair with a young member of his congregation. In 1858, the Brooklyn Eagle wrote a story accusing him of an affair with another young church member who had later become a prostitute. The wife of Beecher's patron and editor, Henry Bowen, confessed on her deathbed to her husband of an affair with Beecher; Bowen concealed the incident during his lifetime.

Several members of Beecher's circle reported that Beecher had had an affair with Edna Dean Proctor, an author with whom he was collaborating on a book of his sermons. The couple's first encounter was the subject of dispute: Beecher reportedly told friends that it had been consensual, while Proctor reportedly told Henry Bowen that Beecher had raped her. Regardless of the initial circumstances, Beecher and Proctor allegedly then carried on their affair for more than a year. According to historian Barry Werth, "it was standard gossip that 'Beecher preaches to seven or eight of his mistresses every Sunday evening.'"

Unqualified
If that data is true, Beecher was not qualified to be a deacon or elder, much less a pastor of a church.  Under the heading of having a good reputation, regardless, he would be disqualified.

Useful?
So, what do I do with that quote?  Do I use it?  Does the bad character of the individual who makes the statement invalidate its usefulness?

No.

There are many who were not believers who are quoted in the Bible; many who said things that were true that had bad character.  Truth is truth, regardless of its source.  Truth conforms to the Bible.  That was the point of the series of posts I wrote about Einstein.

So, yes, I will use the quote.

More to Say
There are some other things we need to learn from Beecher however.  I will share those tomorrow.

Is the Church in Love with the World?

Tossing out the Word
I struggle with groups and people who intentionally set aside the Word of God because it does not fit their agenda.  To be honest, I am probably guilty of that from time to time myself.

Compromise or Confront?
What really stokes my frustration is when organizations and leaders who have in the past strongly supported the Word of God and diligently tried to apply it to their lives and ministry, abandon the Word to accommodate the world.

Embrace or Exhort?
1 John 2:15 – 17 tells us that we are not supposed to love the world or the things in the world – you know the passage.  But it seems like more and more believers are accepting the world’s view rather than God’s on the roles of men and women, marriage, and sexual perversion.

Tasteless Salt?
So that leads me to ask again, if we define manhood and womanhood like the world does, if we define marriage like the world does, if we define sexual perversion as a life choice like the world does, how is that not loving the world?

Father’s Day

If you are a dad, you probably got a card today.  I got some starting Friday night.  With the logistics of having kids working with their lives and our family entering birthday month, we combine events to get through them all.

Four Generations of John's, my dad, me, my son, and his son.

So what is this Father’s thing we do?  When does it end?  How does it change?

I have shared multiple times here Deuteronomy 6:6 – 7, 20, those passages tell us that the expectation of the Lord is that we will be processing life with our kids through the grid of the Scripture.  There are a couple of other implications.  First that our kids know that we are in the Word.  When they have a question the first thing they think is, “dad will know that.”  That means that they have confidence in our understanding of the Word.  That does not come over night.  It is developed over time engaging in their lives intentionally in and through the Word of God.

When does it stop?

It don’t.

I have four married children.  Two of the couples have two kids.  The other two have either not been married long enough or have been in work situations that have not allowed them to have children yet.  Our role as parents has changed.  We now have a role as grandparents.  Deuteronomy 6:6 – 7 still applies, and now it applies to two generations after us.  But now Deuteronomy 6:20 kicks into a higher gear.  Rather than speaking into things we see, now we are more and more waiting to be asked.  The grandchildren ask a lot.

So this father thing changes but it does not go away.

Mother's Day

BTW That is not my wife...

If you went to church today you probably heard a sermon on Proverbs 31.  I did.  It is a favorite passage this time of year.  Appropriate.  I married a woman like that.  Admittedly she had a weak moment.

She has dealt with a lot.  Raising four kids.  Processing how to be a mom now to married children and married children with children.

Yesterday she was helping our daughter and slipped coming down the stairs and landed on her knees on the hardwood floor.  So all Mother’s day she had been on crutches.

Even Superwomen get grounded from time to time…

Impact of a Father’s Decisions

Fathers are to lead.  In fact they do.  They either lead well or else poorly, but lead they do.  Fathers have a more significant role in the lives of their children than this world is willing to admit.  In fact it is one of the aims of the enemy to destroy families by having fathers abdicate their leadership.  However, abdication does not negate impact or responsibility.

This is starkly illustrated in many places in our Bibles.  One of the more graphic examples is found in Daniel 6:24.  There we read that the men who had conspired against Daniel were thrown into the lions’ den he had just vacated.  But they were not thrown in alone.  They were cast in with their wives and children.  They led their families into destruction.  Their choice to undermine and malign Daniel resulted in the complete destruction of their families.

Men today are doing the same thing.

By choosing not to follow Christ, they are leading their families into destruction.  1 Timothy is full of references requiring leadership, by following Christ, of men.  By choosing to place career or something else in front of their personal engagement with Christ as well as their families, they are leading them into the same pit.

It is the responsibility of leadership in the churches to equip men so that they do not follow the lead of those who attempted to destroy Daniel.

Might want to do a checkup in your community.

Foreknowledge Response

Chuck, who responds to some of my posts, is one of my fist mentors in the Christian life.  From him, I learned to do Bible study.  I learned to love the Word.  After I left the Air Force, I lived in his and Sharon's basement.  His response to the post yesterday was better than my post.  It comes from a heart both broken in grief and committed to the Lord he serves.  I share it here because it needs to be more widely read.

Good posts, Mike and Salt (or is it Rock?), Ephesians 2 is difficult to get around, all right. It seems we humans are solidly hard-wired to want credit for what we do. I am who I am because of the good choices I have made. the hard work I had to do to get through school, my faithfulness in the jobs I was given in employment situations, etc., etc, etc.

My only problem in my own case is that just didn't line up with the reality in my life. I never in my conscious life sought God. I didn't choose my family of godly Bible honoring ancestors including clergymen and generations who fled religious persecution to come eventually to America and have all the opportunities offered hard working middle class European white folks of the Colonial era and beyond. And for as long as I can yet remember I went to church, at least twice a week and often three. I was so divinely preconditioned that when I heard the Good News clearly at ten years old, I responded.

What did I have to do with that? It was really no choice; I was thoroughly prepared through no doing of my own.

My late wife as a teen at a church camp was in such pain and despair that one evening she was headed into the camp kitchen, get a knife and kill herself. It "just happened" that a friend came by at that time and asked her if she would go to the evening meeting with her, she wend and met Christ.

Even if I was deceived into thinking that either of us "chose" for ourselves I would still be left to the grace of God having brought us to Himself sovereignly.

As I have reflected in this over the past few decades, I can only come to the conclusion that Ephesians 2:8,9 is true just as it says; I brought nothing (in fact didn't even come) to the table. He pursued me at His pleasure until He caught and wrestled me to the ground.

The last three+ weeks (note from Mike: it has been three+ months) since my Beloved's flight into the strong arms of the Savior she loved so dearly here on earth I have been reevaluating everything about my life (I've read this is normal in grieving such a loss). I am realizing how easy I have often lived congratulating - or condemning - myself on the basis of my efforts. My life is shot thoroughly through with "salvation by works." I am slowly learning to come to God with deep mourning and brokenness over my sin and trying to live by my feeble, futile efforts.

I often these days find myself asking God, "What did I do to deserve to live 45 years with a true angel and experience her faithful unshakable love. And what did I do, God, to be your child?"

The answer is the same: "Nothing!" It's called grace. Pure and simple.

But grace doesn't just end at conversion. If God were showing my sin like He now is without the Gospel in my life now, I would end it in a minute. Grace now says without condemnation, "Yes. That is the way you are and it's a whole lot worse than you know. But, you are forgiven by my grace from eternity past. Follow Me...." I still have a lot of learning to do.

I'm sorry I'm coming to this so late in life, and the cost is great. I miss her terribly with pain inside I'm told will never go away, but will moderate in time. I hope so. But I know in my head when I get to heaven and the Lord asks me if it was worth it, my answer will certainly be, "Yes, Lord. Worth it."

Real Love

You know the chapter.  You have heard it read in multiple weddings.  People who are not very familiar with the Bible know this one along with John 3:16 and Psalm 23, which they see behind goal posts at football games and hear at funerals respectively.

I am referring, of course, to 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter.  I just checked my email and sure enough got a 1 Corinthians 13 card from one of the vendors whose product I use daily.

My wife prayed through the first part of the chapter before we ate supper.  It is a passage to which we return time and again.

Today it would be a really good idea to pray through 1 Corinthians 13 for your relationship with your spouse, and for your relationship with your kids.

Do it slowly.  One of the challenges with passages we know well is that we tend to fast forward through them.  Slow down.  Really consider the weight of what Paul is saying and how it affects your attitude and behavior towards those whom you love.

You will be glad you did.

Valentine's Again

Three years ago I wrote about Valentine’s Day, there were some ideas about you could explore the concept of love with your kids.  That post is here.

If you are like me, you have bought some cards and gifts for tomorrow.  It is not a great idea to miss this one if you are dating or married.  I pretty much blew the first one after we were married.

We were fully engaged in ministry training.  We were both meeting with student at Michigan State daily, leading Bible studies, sharing our faith with as many of the 1200 students in Hubbard dorm as we could get to.  At about 8 PM on the way back from the dorm I realized it was Valentine’s Day and I did not have a blinking thing to give my wife of nine months.

On the way home I stopped by a store to get a card.  As you can well imagine, they were picked over.  The only one they had that was any good was a Hallmark Mahogany card.  I got it and gave it to my bride when I got back to our one bedroom apartment.  She was less than impressed.  Neither one of us are of African heritage.

She kept the card.

Every now and again I hear about that card.  So it did make an impression.

Give yourself more time than I did.

With Him, Intentionally

I have always known that Christ having the 12 with Him was a key component of Mark’s message, I just did not know how key.  There are at least 19 references to Christ intentionally having the 12 or some subset of the 12 with Him while He was conducting His ministry.

That is significant.  The gospel is only 16 chapters.  That is essentially once in each chapter and I did not count some that were repeated allusions to this idea.

It is clear that Christ was intentional about spending time with these men.  He was intentional about explaining things He was doing, even when they remained epically clueless.  He intentionally took them to see things that He excluded others from seeing.  He was building into their lives.

Two things come from this for me.  First, if I want to have an impact on my family, my wife, my kids, and the broader sphere of influence I have in my community, I had best make it a priority to spend time with Him.  The only way I know how to do that effectively, is to intentionally make spending time praying over His Word a priority.

Second, if I desire to have an impact on my family and my community, I have to be with them and they have to be with me.  They have to see me in the Word.  They have to experience my prayer life.  My character that has been formed by my time with Him.

Any other effort will fail.

No Other Good

It is pretty clear that I use the same devotional track each year... I wrote about this on this date last year as well, but this is a slightly different take...

What is on your wish list?  Better car?  Better house?  Better church?  Better schools?  What do you consider to be good?  A certain brand of clothes?  One political party over the other?  Your team winning it all?

I have lists like that.  Not necessarily written down, but they are there just the same.

Psalm 16:2 squashes that notion for me.  The second half of the verse, “I have no other good besides You.”

No other good – includes things like marriage, family, ministry, job, big screen TV, fill in the blank… No other good – zip, zero, nada…  Just Him.

I cannot honestly say that is the case with me.  How about you.

Good?

Just got off of the phone with Chuck.  I was sharing a conversation we had this morning in our study of Mark 1.  One of the guys stated that he and God seemed to have a radically different definition of what is good.  I agree with that sentiment completely.  Hebrews 11:6, James 1:17, and Psalm 84:11 especially tells us that He gives good to those who follow Him, not to mention Romans 8:28.

Even a cursory reading of the New Testament, seems to call into question what is good.  For Paul the list in 2 Corinthians 6:4 – 10, that is good?  Seems like in God’s economy that is the case.

Chuck remarked during the conversation that we have to learn to define terms the way God does rather than trying to make God fit into our definitions.

Good advice, from one deep in the trenches.

Coming to Terms

A few days ago I mentioned differences in the use of terms in arguments.  In any discussion about controversial issues if there is going to be any understanding at all the parties involved have to define and agree what the terms they are using mean.

For instance, many will talk about free will.  Free will over what?  There are quite a few things over which we have no choice.  So the question becomes over what do we exercise free will?

The other side of the coin in this particular discussion may be God’s sovereignty.  So the same question supplies.  Sovereign over what?  What is the extent of God’s sovereignty?  How does He apply it in our lives if at all?

The challenge with many of these discussions is that we use terms and assume those in the conversation know what we mean.  That, in my experience, is rarely the case.  To make matters worse, most times the parties do not have the patience to take the time to explain what they mean.  The result?  The discussion escalates with neither side really understanding what the other is saying.

That might happen from time to time in our families as well.  Ya think?

A Question to Ask Your Kids

I had lunch today with a gifted man.  It was a pleasure at multiple levels.  We shared what we were learning of our Lord through His Word.  We shared the challenges of being fathers of ever changing families in an ever changing world.  In the midst of the conversation he shared a question that he asked his six children at dinner last week.

First the fact that they eat together is remarkable.  We did that.  But from the number of our kid’s friends who commented on the uniqueness we seemed to be in the minority.  It is not easy to do with the schedules we tend to construct for our families.  It is worth the effort – but back to the question.

At some point in the meal my friend asked his kids, “What do you think are the four or five most important things to daddy?”  Whoa, talk about exposure.  His oldest is 12 and his youngest 2.  Significant filters have not been constructed in their thinking.  He opened himself up for some… well I will let him relate what happened.

He told me that the in the next few days he came back to his kids and apologized for misleading them as to what was important by his life choices.  Being the best, working hard, fixing the house, doing a job right were good things but not the most important.  He told them that there would be some changes in his behavior toward them.  That he would begin to be more intentional about modeling for them what was truly important.

We talked briefly then about how he was going to introduce consistent time in the Word into their experience.

He took a great risk in asking that question.  It took integrity to listen, process what his kids said, and then commit to make changes to better communicate to them what he really values.

You may want to follow his lead.