Do you ever struggle with obedience to the Lord? Has He ever asked you to do things, or brought things to mind from which you recoil? In our time together today I was led to Hebrews 12:1 – 2. It was a circuitous route that started in Psalm 39:1, traveled through Proverbs 4:23, Job 31:1, Psalm 145:14, and ended in Jeremiah 3:22.
During the stop at Hebrews 12:1 – 2, I made a list of the encumbrances and entangling sins. At this point in my life the encumbrances are, at least the ones of which I am currently aware, are broken – no that is not strong enough – destroyed and mangled relationships, the kind that still bring a level of pain when reminded of them. I get the sense that He wants me to deal with them. Not sure that is possible in each case. Frankly, I do not want to. Not sure why. It certainly does not make sense to continue to continue to run this race encumbered with that level of pain or continually looking over my shoulder in an ever increasing effort to avoid confrontation with those…
The sins are more easily dealt with. I did not think so at first. But they are. It is simply a matter of trusting Him rather than me. It is counter intuitive but those struggles are private. The encumbrances require the effort of reaching out to some to whom reaching out feels, at some level destructive. I fear not only the response of those but also what else the encounter may expose in me. Thus the recoil.
So my plan was to set up a project to get this done… But it is not a project. It is a simple decision, am I going to obey my Lord or not. I would like to report that I am eagerly in pursuit of obedience here. But… Rather I am praying for the Lord to enable me to pursue the course He has set. If it comes to mind please pray for me in this.
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