Forgiveness

It may be telling that in the 713 posts here that this is the first one I have written on forgiving those who have sinned against us.  Probably because it is hard, raw, and hard – did I mention hard.  This started for me, this time, yesterday.  It was the impetus for yesterday’s post.  I am not able to describe what is going on because too many people will quickly figure it out.  Suffice it to say that the situation is continually in, as my daughter used to say, my bubble.

This afternoon I was reading in Psalm 51.  I wondered if one who has sinned against me has been forgiven by God should I not forgive them?  What if they have not asked for forgiveness?  What if they are still a jerk?  What if they are completely insensitive and self absorbed?  I came up with a long list of what ifs and wrote specifics of how unhappy I was with the way God has handled this in my journal. That was a BIG help.

Then, as He is wont to do, He quietly directed me to Ephesians 4:32.  I hate it when He does that.  It is pretty clear.  It is not dependent on someone who has wronged me acknowledging the wrong.  Doesn't seem to matter if they have changed or stopped being a self absorbed jerk.  What matters is that Christ forgave me.  My responsibility is to imitate the Savior and forgive.  When you strip all of the Sunday school answers away the reality is I do not want to.  Doesn’t matter.  That is the assignment.

So the bottom line for me is that has to be a work of Christ’s grace in my life.  I am incapable of doing that on my own.  To suggest otherwise is simply dishonest.  So the starting place for me is to acknowledge that inadequacy to my Lord and ask Him to help me in my unbelief.  Because the reality is if I am unwilling to do what He has told me to do I do not believe Him.  That is where Hebrews 11:6 comes into full force in my life.

I do not want to live there.