Facing the End?

Two days ago I wrote about the email from the LLS that told me that the chemo I was taking rendered the C19 vaccines useless for me.  I mentioned at the end of the post that 8 days later both my wife and I got the virus.  The day we found out we were exposed, My journal had a rather long entry.  Beyond what was in my reading, the Lord took me to the following passages:

• James 4:14 – 15 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Job 7:7a (here @ BibleGateway)
• Psalm 39:5 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Psalm 144:4 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Philippians 1:21 (here @ BibleGateway)
• 2 Corinthians 12:5b, 9 – 10 (here @ BibleGateway)

Note that they are all dealing with the brevity of life here.  I will let you work through how you respond to those passages.  I would encourage you to write your responses down somewhere you can remember and easily retrieve.  If you are up to it, share with me what the Lord showed you through those passages.

All that we had heard about the virus indicated that I was in the high-risk category.  The combination of cancer and chemo, with the result of a significantly compromised immune system, suggested that if I got the virus the outcome would not be that great.  “Coincidentally” I had intravenous immunoglobulin g the day before my wife tested positive.  That infusion takes about 5 – 6 hours and its purpose is to boost my immune system, to give me some resistance to bacteria and viruses.  After we tested positive, both of us got the monoclonal antibody infusion the next day.  

It was overwhelming how the Lord took care of us.  I only had one day where I felt really bad.  The day I go the monoclonal infusion.  They warned me that might be the case.  

Our Lord is gracious and good.

It’s Broken

This is a difficult time.  Not just in the US but in several places overseas.  I just read a Facebook post from an acquaintance that shared an article from an independent organization named after a major denomination.  It was a one-sided piece that was presented as a reasoned examination of pastors losing their ministries because of politics.  To suggest that the country is divided, would be an epic understatement, polarized may be more accurate.

I meet weekly with Christian leaders in Morocco, Cameroon, and Ethiopia – more accurately I am scheduled to do so.  In Morocco, while weekly I hear of new believers, the underground churches are meeting, knowing that they could be arrested for doing so.  In Cameroon, a country that has the potential to be both an economic and spiritual gateway to both the French speaking and English-speaking countries in the area since the country is bilingual, one language group is attempting to overrun the other, thus destroying one of their greatest advantages.  In Ethiopia the government controls access to the internet shutting it down to keep people from communicating.  Thus, my comment about being scheduled to meet with a leader there.

It seems that regardless of one’s political leaning today, everyone is either frustrated or angry.  Larry Crabb always said that frustration was the result of a blocked goal, and that anger was the result of a continually blocked goal.  The corollary was that Biblical goals could not be blocked.  As I have pondered that over the years and rubbed his thought against the Scriptural data I believe he is correct.

So, what do we do with all of this?  There are several passages that come to mind that may be of help, consider:

• Psalm 46:2 – 3 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Hebrews 13:8 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Psalm 118:8 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Jeremiah 17:7 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Matthew 6:33 (here @ BibleGateway)

Regardless of what is happening in the country or the world, the Lord does not change.  The Lord can be trusted.  The world cannot be trusted.  It is broken.  All its systems are as well.  Our charge is to cleave to Him and invite others to do so as well.

Self Hardening?

During my time with the Lord, I start in the Word with the days reading from M’Cheyne’s Calendar for Daily Bible Reading.  In the past several months I have added the proverb of the day.  There are days that it doesn’t end there.  It seems like the Lord leads me on a journey through a topic or an idea.

One time, a few months ago, that started with Psalm 38:15a (here @ BibleGateway), “For, I hope in You, O Lord…”  The thought I wrote in my journal was, “I should not hope in anything else but You.  No salary, no person, no project, only you.”  Then there are a series of passages that follow:

• Psalm 39:4 15, 7 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Psalm 78:39 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Psalm 144:4 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Job 14:2 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Psalm 62:9 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Ecclesiastes 6:12 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Proverbs 1:28 – 33 (here @ BibleGateway)
• Hebrews 12:7 – 11 (here @ BibleGateway)

At the time I was in contact with an acquaintance that was also dealing with cancer.  They had just told me that their cancer was in remission.  I wrote: “I will never, as things stand now, hear those words this side of heaven.  Lord, I have no idea how much longer you have ordained for me to be here.  On the one hand, Philippians 1:21 (here @ BibleGateway), on the other hand, ten grandchildren with whom I wish to fully engage, Lord, please make me content with you and with what you have given me.”

Focusing on the last two passages it occurred to me that all the previous passages were context for those last two.  There are those in the body that refuse to engage, to listen to His Word, refuse to abide in His Word.  It is if they neglect or ignore the exhortation to abide, they neglect His counsel, do not want His reproof, hate knowledge, do not fear God.  It is as if they are choosing the passing pleasures of sin over following God.  That brought another passage to mind, James 4:17 (here @ BibleGateway).

To not accept His counsel, to spurn His reproof, would seem to have the effect that they eat the fruit of their own way.  Is this, could this be, the same as hardening one’s own heart?

Covid-19

Don’t know about you, but it, has taken me a bit of time to get used to being restricted.  I normally spend a fair amount of time in my office at home.  But I am not used to spending all day indoors.  As of last night the governor of our state has strongly urged people like me, older with underlying medical issues, in my case smoldering cancer that suppresses my immune system, to stay in our houses until April 30th!  Ouch.

So, with those realities bearing down on us.  I have yet to use my time, the extra time, I have been “given” well.  I have slept past my normal 0530 or 0620 get up time.  But, I have not done well using the time.

As a result, as I reviewed the last post, I don’t remember what the next point was.  So…

It may be good to review some things all of us already know.

First, in all of this we are experiencing, God is sovereign.  Further, He is love.  God’s nature and character is not affected by what we are experiencing.  As a matter of fact, it is the certainty of His unchanging nature that allows us to navigate times like this well.

In 1 Peter 1:3 – 5 (here @ Bible Gateway), Peter gives us two anchors to navigate difficult trials.  First, we have an inheritance that is certain.  That inheritance is reserved for each of us in heaven.  Second, we have a salvation that protects us which will be revealed in the last time.  Notice that neither the inheritance nor the salvation is revealed now.  They are anchors in eternity to which we tie our hope and focus.

In Romans 5:1 – 11 (here @ Bible Gateway), we are encouraged to exult in three things, the hope of the glory of God, our tribulations, and finally in God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom we have been reconciled to God.  Consider this carefully, and you will see the parallels to Peter’s exhortation.

James also encourages us.  In James 1:2 – 4 (here @ Bible Gateway) we are encouraged to count times like these as joy.  Because, like in Romans 5, this testing produces endurance or perseverance (it is the same Greek word in both places).  The result of perseverance or endurance is we become perfect and complete.

This is echoed in Hebrews 12:4 – 11 (here @ Bible Gateway).  We go through difficulty for the purpose of sharing in His holiness with the result that we have the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Consider these passages.  See what the Lord may have for you in this time.

Loss

Have you ever had loss in your life?  Fired from a job?  Betrayed by people you considered your friends?  Had a financial reversal?  A difficult diagnosis?  Had a loved one taken from you?

Consider Psalm 3 (here @ Bible Gateway).  David was betrayed and exiled by his son.  That is loss at a level that is hard to wrap one’s head around.  From being a king placed by God, David is reduced to fleeing for his life.

David though, does not value or hold on to his reputation, his wealth, or his position.  Rather he holds onto the Lord.

When all seems against us, like David, we need to hold on to the Lord, no one, or nothing else.

Physical Discipline

At the moment I am in the worst shape of my life.  It is a combination of several back to back illnesses, and two back to back overseas trips.  The combination has made it difficult to stay on my diet and exercise regimen.  Physical therapy has been a twice weekly reality for me for the past three months.  This morning was the last for a while unless my surgeon orders more.

Most of my life I have been active, running, swimming, playing and coaching soccer, playing rugby, backpacking, and riding bicycles for instance.  But that has not prevented me from heart issues, partially clogged arteries.  Doesn’t matter how much you run, one cannot outrun one’s genes.

It takes hours of exercise to keep one’s body in somewhat reasonable shape.  That process gets more difficult as we, as my dad used to put it, mature.  Sickness or injury can quickly reverse gains that we have made physically.  If you have experienced this, you know how hard and frustrating it is to start again.

Paul speaks to this.  Look at 1 Timothy 4:7 – 8 (here @ Bible Gateway). Note his evaluation of physical discipline.  Physical discipline is of little profit.  He contrasts physical discipline with discipline for the purpose of godliness.  That sort of discipline, Paul insists, is profitable not only here but in eternity.  Hebrews 12:4 – 13 (here @ Bible Gateway) reinforces this.

What would that discipline look like?

We will examine that in some detail, tomorrow.

Trusting Sovereignty

Read through Psalm 105 (here @ Bible Gateway), Isaiah 45:7 (here @ Bible Gateway), and Isaiah 46:10 (here @ Bible Gateway).  What do you see?

In Psalm 105 (here @ Bible Gateway), I see that the Lord did what He said He would do with Israel’s relationship to Egypt.  He controls, He is sovereign.

In Isaiah 45:7 (here @ Bible Gateway) I see – well a lot.  A lot with which many of us, me included, may struggle.  The Lord causes both well-being and calamity.  Whew.  But he is the one who also forms light and creates darkness.

Then in Isaiah 46:10 (here @ Bible Gateway), I see that His purpose and “good” pleasure is going to be accomplished.

When I consider the last couple of years, which included 5 deaths in our immediate family, it is hard to reconcile those passages with my experience.

That is the challenge is it not?  We tend to evaluate what the Lord does from our perspective.  We grade Him based on how what He does makes us feel.  We seem to think that the only reason that God exists is to make us happy, fulfill our needs, give us a great life.

We put ourselves in the center of the story.  All revolves around us.  That does not seem to be what the Bible says about God.  This is His creation.  We are His people.  Yes, He redeemed us from the devastating impact of sin in our lives.  But that was His choice, not ours.  He did it for His purpose.

There are two things that allowed us to navigate the last couple of years.  This is the first.  God is sovereign.  He is in control.  He has perfect reasons, good reasons for what He does.

The next thing we held onto will be in the next post.

Recovery

Have you ever been through a rough season in your life?  Things not going well would be a vast improvement?  We have.  It affects you, does it not?  It forces you to question things.  It can make you question whether God is still with you.

That is not a new or unique experience for those who are committed to follow the Lord.  Asaph was one who questioned.  He questioned to the point that he was wondering if the Lord had changed.  How did he recover?  Did he recover?  Can we when we face the same thing?

Look at Psalm 77:10 – 15 (here @ Bible Gateway).  Asaph chose to remember and think through the following truths about his Lord:

• I will remember the deeds of the Lord
• I will meditate on all Your work
• I will muse on Your deeds
• Your way is holy
• You work wonders
• You have made known your strength
• You have redeemed

Note that Asaph made this commitment with a question in his heart.  Has the Lord changed?  The answer was clear.

I have written about this before, but when we face difficulty, it is easy to forget.  It is easy to allow our focus to rest solely on our current “reality”.  What we need to do is what Asaph did, choose to remember His work, and choose to remember His attributes.

However, as I have suggested in the past, we seem to have, or at least I do have problems with short and long term memory.  We forget.  One answer, journal.  If you write it down, you can review what God has done in your life.

The Peace of Dependence

I reviewed Psalm 71:6 (here @ Bible Gateway); 1 Peter 5:10 (here @ Bible Gateway); and James 4:14 (here @ Bible Gateway) just now.

It occurs to me that regardless of what has happened in our life or what will transpire, there is solace, peace, rest in the knowledge that it is from the Lord who is sovereign, holy, love, and unchanging.

Coupled with Psalm 139:16 (here @ Bible Gateway), I can trust Him, resting in the knowledge that He is in control of my path and my life.

Dealing with the Matrix

You may be following what is happening in the confirmation of the president’s nominee to the Supreme Court.  This is not going to be political, per se.  However, one of the realities that face us as believers is living in the midst of a broken world that is under the domain of a murderer and a liar.  How we react and respond to what we encounter in the midst of that reality becomes either a testimony to the glory of our Lord in and through our lives or else a blight on His name.

Different experiences in the Word aligned this morning as I was working through my devotional, quiet time, and then as I turned from that to write this post.

I reviewed a journal entry from April of last year.  Psalm 33:10 – 11 (here @ Bible Gateway) was the passage and it aligned perfectly with what the Lord showed me this morning in His Word.

Rather than tell you what I saw, here are the passages that the Lord took me through.  Spend some time looking at them and think through what is going on in your life and how they apply:

• 2 Samuel 17:14b (here @ Bible Gateway)
• Psalm 72:18 (here @ Bible Gateway)
• James 1:20 (here @ Bible Gateway)
• 2 Corinthians 10:3 – 6 (here @ Bible Gateway)
• Ephesians 6:10 – 20 (here @ Bible Gateway)
• Romans 8:26 – 27 (here @ Bible Gateway)
• Psalm 33:10 – 11 (here @ Bible Gateway)

If you do work through this, let me know your thoughts.

Tears in a Bottle

How do you handle the difficulties of this life?

When I fly down to MD Anderson, I will use Uber to get to where I am staying or if I need to travel in the city while there.  I have found those trips to be an interesting opportunity to speak of Christ to the drivers.  One of them shared with me that his son was shot and killed while playing a pick-up basketball game.  I asked him how he handled the pain.  That led to a conversation that dealt with faith.

While I have experienced the death of close family members, I have not experienced the murder of a child.  You may have.  The reality of our lives here is that we are living in a broken world that is groaning under the effects of sin, our sin.  Not as categorized by those who champion causes in order to attempt to have man do the “right” thing for the environment or humanitarian issues.  No, it is the result of categorically rejecting the One who created this world and those of us who populate it.

In the midst of this broken reality, by His grace, some have come to trust Him.  However, all who trust Him are still resident in the reality of this sin ravaged world.

As a result, there is still struggle, suffering, persecution, illness, strife…

How do we handle that?

Psalm 56:8 (here @ Bible Gateway), may help.  Reading through this psalm this morning I was stopped by the words David penned.  Consider the import of what he shares there.  The Lord knows my wanderings, he puts my tears in a bottle and categorizes them. 

Think of that.  In the midst of both the suffering that we endure because we live in a broken world, and the consequences of our bad choices, our Creator collects our tears and categorizes them.  He is intimately engaged in our suffering.  He knows specifically what has caused that pain. 

This aligns perfectly with several other passages of Scripture, but two stand out.  Psalm 139:3 (here @ Bible Gateway) tells us that He knows the details of our lives.  1 John 4:7 – 11 (here @ Bible Gateway), reminds us that He loves us so much that He died for us.  He died to relieve the suffering He is cataloging.

When we hurt.  When we are in deep despair.  We can know that our Lord not only knows, but is intimately familiar with what is causing that pain, and further has already acted to relieve it.

The Escape from Troubling Times

Unless you are living in denial, you will have come to the realization that this life is difficult.  The difficulty varies based on multiple factors.  I have learned over the years that I would not trade the difficulty that I face for another’s.  It doesn’t matter what their socio economic status, what culture, whatever…  I would not trade.

It seems as if no matter what I do, however well I navigate trouble, there is still more on the way.

I was reviewing John 14:1 – 2 (here @ Bible Gateway) just now.  It seems to me that here in the Lord’s words we find some solace.  The respite from trouble is not some action I take.  It is not some strategy of coping.  Not an application of positive thinking.  Rather, it is in trust.

Trust in Him.

Further, the solution to the trouble, the end of it, is not going to be here.  Rather, it is with Him.  He is preparing a place for us.  Revelation 21:4 (here @ Bible Gateway) indicates that there will be no more mourning, crying, or pain.  No trouble.

We have to trust Him that trouble here is not only temporary, but in our lives for a reason, 2 Corinthians 4:17 (here @ Bible Gateway).  Further, we are to hold on to the truth that what we will have there, as Christ promises in John 14:1 – 2 (here @ Bible Gateway), so far outweighs what we experience here as to make it practically meaningless, Romans 8:18 (here @ Bible Gateway).

Just so you understand the context in our life, I am reviewing journal entries in the midst of a time when our family experienced 5 deaths in 18 months.  Each of those are still painful and have lasting impact on our family in different ways.

These passages, this realization, is one of the things that helps us navigate seasons like this.

No is an Answer

Typically I mine my journals to spark what I write here.  For the past several months I have been reviewing the last journal which covers from November of 2016 through February of this year.

This evening I hit entries that surrounded a significant event for our family.  In the journal I recorded my prayer concerning what was going on.

Garth Brooks has a song, “Unanswered Prayers.”  I like Garth, but he got that one wrong.  There are no unanswered prayers.  We just may not get the answer we hope for.  “No,” is as much of an answer as, “Yes”.  Further, sometimes the answer is, “Wait”.

In the case of the prayer I recorded during the first part of last year, the answer was, “No”.

Reading the prayer, I had a visceral reaction.  My gut tightened up, I bent over, and began to weep.  The pain and confusion is still very real.  From where I sit, “No,” made no sense, no sense at all.  It does not matter how I parse the situation, from whatever angle it is contemplated, the continuing confusion, pain, and constant reminders of the answer, do not compute.

There are two things that sustain faith for me when these forceful reminders hit.  First, I know without any shadow of doubt that God loves us, loves me, loves all who were and are continually impacted by the “No”.

Second, my experience with other, “Nos,” helps me to know that I can trust Him.  Some of those have resolved into understanding over the years.  Some have not.  But I know based on both experience and the testimony of His Word than I can trust Him.

For this one, in this life, I may never understand.

But I know that He loves me, and I trust Him.  But, it still hurts.

Ripples

Do you or did you have grand plans for your life?  How is that working out for you?

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut.  I made it to instructor pilot in the Air Force.  Didn’t last long at that, the end of the Viet Nam war meant that overnight there was a surplus of pilots.  So I was released from my six-year commitment three and a half years in.

I came to Christ shortly after I started pilot training.  It soon dawned on me that the planes would burn, but the men in them would live eternally either in hell or in the presence of the Lord.  My focus changed.  I gave up the idea of flying reconnaissance and instead chose to be an IP so I could be around the men who were helping me in the Christian life.

When I left the Air Force I moved into the basement of a Navigator rep’s house and begin to work as a cost engineer and to help him start the ministry at UAB.  I had no idea how to do that.  A year and a half into that project I married my female counterpoint in that ministry.  Shortly after we were married we moved to East Lansing, Michigan to be trained at the Navigator training center there to be collegiate staff.

Two years later we moved with the director of the training center to Knoxville to help him start the training center at the University of Tennessee.  Our first child was born there.  I had the first few of seven sinus surgeries there.  The Air Force called and asked if I wanted to come back and fly tankers; I said no.

I could go on, we were at another campus, had two more kids there.  I took at ThM at Dallas Seminary, where we had our fourth child.  I have been to Korea, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Trinidad and Tobago (multiple times), Morocco (multiple times), Nepal, Cameroon, and Togo.  We are pursuing opportunities in other African countries, and I have been asked to consider a return trip to Nepal…

My kids are all married.  They all, but the youngest, have at least one child, the youngest has a dog.  One of my son’s wife passed away several months after she had her child.  My parents and my wife’s parents have all gone home to be with the Lord; we buried her father last Sunday.

When I reflect on this, nothing has really turned out as planned.  In the process of this journey thus far, my wife and I have encountered and been in various depths of relationships with hundreds if not thousands of people.

It is impossible, or perhaps better, impractical to measure the impact we have had.  We had hopes, plans, vision, but those all changed.

At some level, some significant level, it feels as if we are pebbles that have been cast into a pond.  The impact creates ripples.  We do not see how far those ripples spread.  We do not see the impact or result of the ripples.  In a real sense we didn’t cause the ripples.  The one who cast us into the pond did.

Our responsibility is to trust and abide in the one who cast us into the pond.  There are days that that is easier than others.

I’m not an astronaut, I’m a pebble…

Death Unnatural

My father in law is dying.  His will be the fifth death in our family in the last couple of years.  He is 93, His wife was 91 when she passed.  My dad was 94.  One of the deaths was a miscarriage; one was a new mother of 32 years. 

People will say about my wife’s parents and my dad that they led a full life and that their deaths in their 90’s were normal.  They do not say the same thing about my daughter in law or the miscarried child.

The facts are though that death is not normal.  It was never meant to be our experience.

In Genesis 2:16 – 17 (here @ Bible Gateway) the Lord commanded that Adam not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  The Lord promised that in the event that Adam did this, he would surely die.  In Genesis 3:19 (here @ Bible Gateway), after Adam had disobeyed the direct command of the Lord, He fulfilled His promised result, “…you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

Death is the result of the fall of the race; sin.  It may not be a particular sin in the case of a person.  But, the fact that we are human, descendants of Adam, whose nature changed when he disobeyed, we will experience death.

That is one of the reasons that we grieve so deeply.  At a core level, we know that it is wrong.  I watched life leave my father.  It was obvious that he was no longer there.  We talk of dying with dignity.  There is no dignity in death.  It is a result of our condition as sinners before a holy God.

The great news is that we have been offered a remedy.  Christ died for us to pay for our sin.  That allows us the opportunity to be restored to the life we were meant to live.  To have eternal life with Him.  We will still, should He delay His return, go through this physical death to be sure.  However, if we trust Him, if we choose to follow Him, we will receive the gift of eternal life in His presence.

What we experience here was not the intention.  What we can experience through Him is the gift.

The Purpose of Pain

I have shared of late about some of the painful things our family has experienced over the past almost two years.  Just now, I am reviewing a journal entry from February 2017.  It was a response to Genesis 45:5 – 9 about which I wrote a couple of posts back.

If it is the case that God is sovereign.  If it is the case that He has scrutinized my path and knows all that I am thinking before I think it, Psalm 139:1 – 5 (here @ Bible Gateway).  If it is the case that He disciplines me in order to make me more like Him and His Son, Hebrews 12:10 (here @ Bible Gateway).  If it is the case that He has work that He for which He has designed me, which He established prior to the foundation of the world, Ephesians 2:10 (here @ Bible Gateway).  Then, it follows that all that He has brought into my life was intentional, purposeful, to equip me for that work.

In that journal entry, I listed 14 events that changed the course of my life and significantly impacted both my walk with Him and my understanding of the Word, myself, people and mission or ministry.

While there are many more that could be listed, and there are lessons ongoing, as I consider what the Lord has on my plate now, I can see how each of these events has conspired to prepare me for the current tasks.  At least seven of the events were deeply painful, they involved separations, betrayals, and relocations.  Some, including the painful events, were deeply confusing and disorienting.  Some removed “settled” life directions, and rattled deeply held convictions.

Now, as I ponder the list on the pages of my journal, as I consider how in the past few years I have drawn deeply on and from lessons that I can identify from each of these events on an almost daily basis, I can begin to see the sovereign hand of our sovereign, loving, faithful Lord shaping, pruning, and guiding through all of those to bring me here.

It reinforces for me that I can trust Him with all that will come next to continue to move and shape me into what He wants.  The reason that is important for me to remember, is that based on the past, some of those coming events will not be something for which I would gladly and quickly volunteer.

I am beginning to understand Hebrews 11:6 (here @ Bible Gateway).

Abiding Pain

Yesterday was mother’s day.  Jenny lost her mother last year to a stroke, mine passed away about 10 years ago, the result of a fall.  Yesterday was painful.  But it wasn’t because of our mothers.

Yesterday our one-year-old granddaughter was dedicated at my son’s church.

Her mother died last November after a 14 month battle with cancer.  Her daughter was born five months into that battle.

Both of the extended families live here.  All but 5 were at the dedication, so 29 adults and children.  The pastor charged the parents of the children and then the assembled congregation.  He then invited those who wanted to pray for a family to come forward.

The first person at my son’s side was the senior pastor of the church.  All 27 of the rest of us were next as well as a number of those who have been walking with my son through this past year and a half.  I was in tears.  Frankly, I had been most of the morning.  So was most if not all of the 29.

After we went back to our seats.  The pastor departed from what he was going to say to speak to my son’s situation.  The church and many around the world prayed for the baby as her mother was getting chemotherapy.  We prayed that the Lord would protect her from the effects of the chemo.  So far, it looks as if that prayer was answered in the affirmative.

The pastor said she was a miracle.  She is.  But, in fact, all children are…

The pastor commented on the support my son is getting from both sides of the family.  He is… He is also being supported by those in the med school and the practice where he is completing his fellowship.

All of us, the 34 in the family and those in the church body, know the truth.  We know that my son’s wife is in the presence of the Lord.  We know also that our current lives are a vapor.  We know that soon, very soon, we will be with her.  But more importantly, we know that we will be with the Lord.

We grieve, we deal with the abiding pain, but as Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 4:13 (here @ Bible Gateway), we grieve, we walk through the abiding pain, in hope.  For, as Paul reminds us in 1 Thessalonians 4:14 (here @ Bible Gateway), this life is not the end.

It still hurts.  We still weep.  At times the ache is deep.  But, the hope is real, the hope sustains.

Dealing with the Curve Balls of Life

Do you ever reflect on difficult times in your life?  Situations where you were betrayed by one you considered a close friend?  Times when you may have experienced a strained relationship to the point it has been permanently broken?  Or perhaps the loss of a job unexpectedly?

How do we handle those types of things in a manner that glorifies our Lord?

Joseph may give us a clue.  Read through Genesis 45:5 – 9 (here @ Bible Gateway).  Note especially how Joseph describes his being in Egypt.  He attributes the fact that he is in Egypt not to his brothers selling him into slavery, but to God moving him to Egypt for the purpose of the preservation of his family.

He looked for and saw the hand of God in the suffering he endured for a purpose which at first he did not understand.  However, it was the integrity of his trust in God that led him to understand the purpose of what was happening to him.

I do not suggest here that we will always understand what God has or is taking us through.  I am still processing the last two years.  So far I have no clue.  However, events that happened 30 years ago are becoming clearer and clearer.  Devastating, life-altering events then, are proving to be the foundation of much in which the Lord is assigning us now.

The key lesson for me in considering Joseph’s story and attitude is that in whatever I am experiencing, I must continue to trust my loving, gracious, sovereign Lord.  I must trust that He is acting in line with His purposes and character.  I may eventually understand; I may not.  Regardless, I am to trust.

Renewed not Retired

Things hurt today.  Neck, back, etc.  It is probable that I am paying for things, like rugby, that I did when I was younger.  As we mature, things change, work differently or not at all…

However, there is another perspective.

Consider 2 Corinthians 4:16 – 18 (here @ Bible Gateway).  The great news there is, though our bodies may deteriorate, the outer man, we still have growth to pursue in the inner man.  There is no end to what we can learn, what we can experience of our Lord, what we can share with others, what we can observe and apply in the Word of God.

There are no sidelines in the Christian experience.  There is no retirement.  There is no finish line other than being in the presence of the one that enables us to run this race.

That is a journey, an adventure, to which it is worth our complete commitment.

Deep Waters

Reviewing my journal just now.  I was reading an entry three days after we buried my dad.  My son’s wife was in the middle of a battle with lymphoma she would ultimately lose almost 10 months to the day.  At the time I wrote the entry she was 25 weeks pregnant.  Another one of our children had recently experienced a miscarriage. 

I was praying through all that was going on.  One of the notes was “God is sovereign over…conception, growth, death, life, birth, and vitality.”

There were times in that 18 month period that all I could come up with in prayer was “I love You; I trust You…”  That was usually through some deep emotion and accompanied by tears.

As I review the requests I made of the Lord, all were answered.  The family with the miscarriage now has another healthy child.  My son’s critically ill wife gave birth to a healthy baby about six weeks later.  The Lord took the baby’s mom home 8 months after she gave birth.

I do not pretend to understand why He answers prayer in the way that He does.  I do know…

I love Him; I trust Him.