Envy

Do you ever find yourself wondering why someone else has an opportunity to do something you would really like to do, yet have not been asked?  Perhaps it is a promotion, recognition at work, an opportunity to speak to a group of people – probably not the last one, most people are terrified of speaking in public…  Whatever you wish you were doing that another is, well, that is envy, jealousy, or covetousness or all three at once…  Full disclosure here, I struggle with envy, not in the last few minutes, but yesterday for sure and probably earlier today…

If you, like me struggle with envy, we are in good company, well in the company of people who are well known at least, technically since they are sinners, they are not all that good.  I was thinking of Peter.  He envied John.  Look at John 21.20 – 21.  Jesus had just finished outlining His assignment for Peter.  Peter turned and essentially said, “What about him?”  I love Jesus’ response, well not really, but I will explain that in a bit…  Jesus said, “If I want him to ____________, what is that to you?”  The blank is there for you and me to fill in when we envy what some other brother is getting to do.  Essentially, Jesus is saying to Peter and us, it is not our business what He wants others to do.  That is His business with them.

The last phrase is telling, “You follow Me!”

When we put all this together, the reality of envy, at least for me, is that I do not trust God that what He wants me to do, the lot He has given me in life, is really all that good.  Like Peter, I am kind of looking at the other guy thinking he got a better slice of the pie.  It boils down to I do not believe God knows how to engage me and the gifts that He has given me most effectively.  It is really immaterial that He created me in my mother’s womb, chose men for a specific purpose before the foundation of the world, and has gifted me and prepared me through all of my life for that purpose.  I am sure He has not used me as effectively as He should.

Pretty stupid.