In Philippians 3:15 – 16, Paul at the conclusion of his sharing about what drives him, seeking to know Christ, Paul tells us that should be what drives our relationship with Christ. He tells us then that regardless of what motivates our relationship with our Lord we should press on. He then tells us that God will reveal our motivation with the implication that the Lord will help us with that motivation. Regardless we are to pursue Him.
This is one of the reasons I love this Book. It deals with us as real people. We are a mess. God accepts us as the messes we are, renewing and reviving us to be the instruments that He wants us to be for His purposes and glory.