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Friday, April 18, 2014
We were climbing at Enchanted Rock in Texas. It was a staff training exercise for those of us who were leading backpacking and climbing trips for an outdoor ministry. One of the guys was a football player. Strong dude. Great athlete. But he was wearing the wrong type of shoes. They would not grip the rock. He kept slipping. We shouted encouragement, we made suggestions, but his equipment just was not right for the challenge. I wanted to help him. But I could not climb for him. I could not help.
We were shooting an ILS approach. My student was all over the sky off airspeed and off his heading and glide path. He was not cross checking his instruments well enough. He was not responding to the picture the instruments were giving him quickly or effectively enough. I was giving constant instruction on what to do. I was getting frustrated. It was not helping. I could not control his flying with my words. I was helpless to make him fly well.
I just left the hospital. My 10 month old grandson is in there with probable osteomyelitis, an infection in one of his bones. He has been poked, stuck, MRIed, confined to his room, had wires attached to his toe, he does not understand. We can't really explain it to him. We cannot make the infection disappear. We are helpless to fix it or explain to him what is happening.
There have been many such situations in my life. Too many to mention. What is my response? I think I go through several phases - not sure that I have identified them all. But the last phase is something like trust. I have to trust God with my helplessness. I have to trust God with my inability to fix the situation. I have to trust God that He can and that He will do what is best in that situation. I have to trust that when His best does not align with what I think should happen, that He is right, and I am not.
I have to trust Him with my helplessness.