It has been a hard couple of days. The specifics are not important but I want to process with you how I am trying to deal with the events.
When things are not working out the way that I think they should I have a number of really helpful reactions. Frustration, anger, hurt, disappointment, bewilderment are some of the tamer ones. It is hard for me to hear the Word. It is difficult for that light to penetrate the darkness that the events conspire to create in my heart and mind. It eventually does. But I have to wind down and obey – Oh the darkness also negatively impacts all of my relationships as well. All in all it is a very pleasant experience.
What I find is that I need to follow David’s example. I have to tell God that I am not pleased with the way He is choosing to engage with my life. In no uncertain terms, I have to tell Him – not like it will be a surprise to Him – check out Psalm 139:4. But I have to tell Him. I do not do that well. I find that I have to write it down. Thus my journal. I take to its pages and let the Lord and whoever else is involved have it. Much like David the venting releases some of the pent up frustration, anger – I won’t repeat the list.
I find that engaging in that discipline allows me to more quickly hear. To more quickly know how I need to follow Him through the rough patch. The rough patch seldom smoothes out. In fact sometimes following Him makes the patch rougher still. But it reminds me who directed the patch and that there is reason and purpose for it. Even if I do not see or understand what that reason or purpose may be.
What I find is that I need to follow David’s example. I have to tell God that I am not pleased with the way He is choosing to engage with my life. In no uncertain terms, I have to tell Him – not like it will be a surprise to Him – check out Psalm 139:4. But I have to tell Him. I do not do that well. I find that I have to write it down. Thus my journal. I take to its pages and let the Lord and whoever else is involved have it. Much like David the venting releases some of the pent up frustration, anger – I won’t repeat the list.
I find that engaging in that discipline allows me to more quickly hear. To more quickly know how I need to follow Him through the rough patch. The rough patch seldom smoothes out. In fact sometimes following Him makes the patch rougher still. But it reminds me who directed the patch and that there is reason and purpose for it. Even if I do not see or understand what that reason or purpose may be.
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