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Monday, October 17, 2016

Journey Through Incredible Pain

For the past six years I have written here most days.  This month has been the exception.  There are a number of reasons for that.  I have been traveling.  Members of my family and I are struggling with various forms of cancer as well as other significant health issues.  One such situation has consumed most of my emotional and spiritual reserves in the past few days.  Another has also been challenging requiring some of the travel.  Frankly, I just haven’t felt like writing.
Journey Through Incredible Pain
Yesterday, I spent most of the afternoon in prayer about one of these cases.  There are two lives at stake.  Multiple difficult issues – such that when I have shared the details with close friends it renders them speechless.

I am not all that good at prayer.  Especially, protracted prayer.  However, I was impressed that I needed to try.  It was hard work.  Really hard work.

This morning was the Monday study, we were in 1 Samuel 3.  I shared what was happening with the men there with the same result, speechless.

I got home and started my time with the Lord.  I had passages I was supposed to read, but it was if the Lord was not through with me from yesterday afternoon.  Matthew 5:6 and Psalm 42:1 came to mind.  As I prayed and processed those passages several things came to mind.

The question was when have I invested that much time and emotion in just seeking His righteousness?  When have I hungered for Him as I hungered for this healing?  When have I wept over my sin as I have wept over this cancer?  I want what His sovereign power can provide, am I satisfied with Him?

Tomorrow morning five of us are looking at 1 Samuel 3 & 4.  This afternoon I was finishing up my prep for that study.  I observed that Israel did the same thing.  They used the ark as a talisman in battle.  They wanted victory over their enemy, not so much did they want Him.  They did not even bother to ask.  They just brought the ark into battle.  The Philistines response to them in 1 Samuel 4:7 – 8 was the appropriate response.  They recognized the latent idolatry of Israel’s action.  They were afraid of the mighty gods.

I am cut to the quick by this.  He is enough, but I find myself longing for more… hopeless.


  1. many Christians going through testing times now. God have mercy thanks for sharing that.

  2. Sorry to hear, my friend. How can I pray? Always available to talk.

  3. Thinking of you, praying for God's strength through the process.