Learning to deal with the reality that my capacity has been greatly limited, at least for the next several months, has surfaced several issues that I have needed to process.
In the past 13 years the Lord has given me the opportunity to serve believers in 11 countries on 4 continents. It has been a privilege. He has given men and women in those places tools to understand the Bible in ways they have not done before. He has refined the process and the message. The material has been translated into four languages. He has given me lasting relationships with significant people. I have been asked back to most of the places He has allowed me to serve.
I was scheduled to leave this Friday for the second trip to a sub Saharan country. The treatment canceled that trip along with a three-week vacation to South Africa and a large game reserve in eastern Africa in July.
While I still meet with three Bible studies and our small group at church online, and talk to men on the phone, I have not been able to meet with anyone in person since the middle of March.
As I was praying about this a sentence in a devotional I use from time to time stood out:
Reflecting on that sentence, I wrote in my journal, “This describes well my life, Lord please – don’t shunt me aside…” As I wrote that down it became clear that I valued serving Christ more than Him. It was a clear rebuke. Two passages came to mind, Luke 10:18 – 20 (here @ Bible Gateway) and Luke 10:38 – 42 (here @ Bible Gateway). The question for which I do not have a good answer yet is, “If all I have is my relationship with Jesus, is that enough? Is He enough?
I know what the answer should be…
In the past 13 years the Lord has given me the opportunity to serve believers in 11 countries on 4 continents. It has been a privilege. He has given men and women in those places tools to understand the Bible in ways they have not done before. He has refined the process and the message. The material has been translated into four languages. He has given me lasting relationships with significant people. I have been asked back to most of the places He has allowed me to serve.
I was scheduled to leave this Friday for the second trip to a sub Saharan country. The treatment canceled that trip along with a three-week vacation to South Africa and a large game reserve in eastern Africa in July.
While I still meet with three Bible studies and our small group at church online, and talk to men on the phone, I have not been able to meet with anyone in person since the middle of March.
As I was praying about this a sentence in a devotional I use from time to time stood out:
Thy goodness has been with me during another year, leading me through a twisting wilderness, in retreat helping me to advance, when beaten back making sure headway. (The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, page 204)
Reflecting on that sentence, I wrote in my journal, “This describes well my life, Lord please – don’t shunt me aside…” As I wrote that down it became clear that I valued serving Christ more than Him. It was a clear rebuke. Two passages came to mind, Luke 10:18 – 20 (here @ Bible Gateway) and Luke 10:38 – 42 (here @ Bible Gateway). The question for which I do not have a good answer yet is, “If all I have is my relationship with Jesus, is that enough? Is He enough?
I know what the answer should be…
I think for me, the only way to find out for sure would be to experience the loss of everything else; perhaps then I would know where Christ really in in my life. I fear I would not even need to come close. I still have so much. I wonder if this is what the great Apostle Paul was at least getting very close to in Philippians 3:8, 8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, Philippians 3:8
ReplyDeleteStruggling with and praying for you.
That may be right. I'm still pondering. I'm not sure how to to count all things loss either.
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