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Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Sorry for Your Loss

As I mentioned yesterday I cannot count the number of times people have said that to us in the past month.  It is a good thing to say, appropriate, nothing wrong with those words, or the thoughts behind them.
Sorry for Your Loss
Dad with 4 of his 7 greatgrandchildren
However, at a significant level this was not a loss for us.

Mom fell at home 10  years ago and was home with the Lord six hours later.  Dad watched her fall.  For the past 10 years he would break into tears at “odd” times.  At 0538 on January 21st, his tears became those of joy.

Mom and dad experienced five miscarriages between me and my brother.  There were five children that dad never knew.  Mom has been with them for the past 10 years.  At 0538 on January 21st, dad met those five people for the first time.

During the first of August my oldest son and his wife experienced a miscarriage.  Mom has been with that greatgrandchild for the past seven months.  At 0538 on January 21st, dad met his greatgrandchild.

Also his sister, her son, his mom, his dad, his mother in law, and many more of whom I am not aware.

James 4:13 – 14, reminds us that this life is a vapor, it vanishes after a little while.  Psalm 78:39, describes our life as a wind that passes and does not return.  Job 7:7, 16, describes this as a breath.

Dad missed being with mom, those kids, and his greatgrandchild for part of a breath.  He will spend eternity with them in the presence of Jesus.  How is that a loss?  For him an immeasurable gain.

For us, sure.

But for me to focus on loss in light of all that dad is experiencing now seems epically selfish.  Rather, at a significant level, I am jealous.

I have struggled with Philippians 1:21.  I am beginning to understand more and more Paul’s heart.

So while it is still a good thing to say.  It does not capture the full reality of the situation for one who has accepted Christ’s gift of eternal life.  I am going to be apart from dad for part of a breath.  We will spend eternity together with all of the above members of our family and countless brothers and sisters in Christ.  The loss is fleeting.


  1. Gloriously true! Thank you for putting that into words. And that is the hope we have - we will one day soon (in vapor-time) see our dearly beloved ones, and the dearly beloved One, face to face again. We grieve, but with hope. And it is we who grieve; they greatly rejoice!

    So we do grieve, but for what we have lost in this temporary separation (my list is nearly endless). In that sense it is quite selfish. I don't know what the psychologists would say, but in a real sense I grieve for myself and the wonder of her presence with me. Not at all for her. For her, I rejoice!