My wife and I were called to the hospital. There we were informed that two in our family were threatened by an aggressive cancer.
That Sunday during church I felt like I should spend some extended time in prayer about what those two were facing.
Extended time in prayer is not a strength of mine. Extended time in the Bible – I am all in. Prayer – I run out of things to pray fairly quickly. I struggled praying for four hours over the specifics that I knew, asking the Lord to intervene and heal.
The next morning I opened my journal for my devotional time with the Lord. I wrote down the passages from the reading plan that I have been using this year and began to turn to read the first one – I do not hear the Lord audibly. But from time to time He impresses on me passages that I should read. Turning to the first passage I was redirected to Matthew 5:6.
It was as if the Lord was saying to me, “You spent four hours yesterday praying the lives of those in your family would be spared from this cancer. When is the last time you have pursued Me with that much fervor?” I was filleted.
I was hard at seeking what God could do for my family, His hand. I was not as hard after seeking His face, to know Him.
It was a hard lesson. One that I am still processing and still weakly attempting to apply…
Extended time in prayer is not a strength of mine. Extended time in the Bible – I am all in. Prayer – I run out of things to pray fairly quickly. I struggled praying for four hours over the specifics that I knew, asking the Lord to intervene and heal.
The next morning I opened my journal for my devotional time with the Lord. I wrote down the passages from the reading plan that I have been using this year and began to turn to read the first one – I do not hear the Lord audibly. But from time to time He impresses on me passages that I should read. Turning to the first passage I was redirected to Matthew 5:6.
It was as if the Lord was saying to me, “You spent four hours yesterday praying the lives of those in your family would be spared from this cancer. When is the last time you have pursued Me with that much fervor?” I was filleted.
I was hard at seeking what God could do for my family, His hand. I was not as hard after seeking His face, to know Him.
It was a hard lesson. One that I am still processing and still weakly attempting to apply…
Before your picture I knew my answer - His hand. Or, as I could also say, "relief!" I want relief from the pain, the anxiety, the uncertainty of whatever situation has intruded into my formerly orderly, comfortable life.
ReplyDeleteBut that is a false world of my own futile imagining.
Jesus promised, "In the world you will have tribulation...." (John 16:33) Why don't I expect it, or even recognize it until it comes? I still don't.
I don't like my honest answer to the question the Lord asked you. At all. I long to grow with you, Mike.
And I am praying for you and your entire family. I know God will work for you His purposes. He promised....