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Monday, December 30, 2013

Dealing with Conflict

A few weeks back I got an email from an acquaintance.  During a conversation something I said or the way I said it offended him.  He felt like he needed to tell me.  Before he sent the email he tried to connect by phone but for several days our scheduled just did not mesh.  Rather than drag out the process he sent he email.  I am glad he did.
What do you do when you are offended by a brother?  What do you do when you offend?  Thoughts at DTTB.
It was a risk.  He did not know how I would respond.  This time I responded well – not always the case, sadly.

This morning we were finally able to connect by phone.  We had a good productive conversation.  The difficulty was a combination of my not appropriately filtering what I shared with him and his not knowing me at all prior to our initial conversation.

The thing that I take away from this is that he did everything right.  He approached me with the issue in a non-threatening manner.  He was seeking to understand.  He imputed to me level of trust and maturity that he did not know for sure that I possessed.  I greatly appreciated the integrity in which he dealt with the issue.

Matthew 18:15 – 17 gives us instruction which, in my experience, we in the Body do not follow often.  My friend did.  Proverbs 9:8 – 9 gives us further instruction in these matters.  I have often asked if no one is reproving me does that mean that people do not think I am wise.  In this case I am grateful that my friend did.  I am looking forward to working with him in the future.

Oh – there is one more aspect to this – he was seeking not to blame or to prove himself correct but rather to understand and move forward.  Good agenda.

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