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Thursday, June 27, 2013

High Point

Relief
Today was the culmination of many years and prayers.  I got some news that touched me so deeply that for it I have no real words.  The relief was such that I literally wept for joy.  There was such a release of inner anxiety that I did not realize was there - I was surprised by my reaction.
I learned something about myself today... Thoughts at DTTB.
Wonder
As I have thought through the day and my response, I wonder what to what else I am holding so tightly.  I thought that I had given this matter over completely to The Lord.  But my reaction suggests to me that I was still holding on - for what I do not know.  For there was literally nothing  I could do in this particular situation to affect any outcome.  It was totally and completely out of my control.

Realization
It occurs to me that all about which I am concerned pretty much falls in the same category, I have no control and cannot really affect any outcome.  The overwhelming peace I experienced this afternoon - well I want more of that.  My prayer has become that The Lord in His grace will help me to ferret out what else I am still holding and show me how to release that to Him in a way that gives me that level of peace.

Deficient
This has been a great day for a different reason than the news.  I was instructed by my reaction.  It revealed the shallowness of my real trust in God.

2 comments:

  1. I've been schooled on that same subject a lot, lately. Trust vs. Control. Failed the exam.

    ReplyDelete