Today was the culmination of many years and prayers. I got some news that touched me so deeply that for it I have no real words. The relief was such that I literally wept for joy. There was such a release of inner anxiety that I did not realize was there - I was surprised by my reaction.
As I have thought through the day and my response, I wonder what to what else I am holding so tightly. I thought that I had given this matter over completely to The Lord. But my reaction suggests to me that I was still holding on - for what I do not know. For there was literally nothing I could do in this particular situation to affect any outcome. It was totally and completely out of my control.
It occurs to me that all about which I am concerned pretty much falls in the same category, I have no control and cannot really affect any outcome. The overwhelming peace I experienced this afternoon - well I want more of that. My prayer has become that The Lord in His grace will help me to ferret out what else I am still holding and show me how to release that to Him in a way that gives me that level of peace.
This has been a great day for a different reason than the news. I was instructed by my reaction. It revealed the shallowness of my real trust in God.