Gifting

Something happened in the last few days that revealed some real sickness in my heart.  In doing so it allowed me to engage with whom I am and what my purpose is with much more clarity.  I encountered a result of something I had done years ago from one of my core gifts and drivers.  To say that the result was positive would be a vast understatement.  At one level as I observed the result, I was grateful for what God had done.  At another level I was struggling with the fact that no one remembered my role in the result.  Therein lay the sickness.

Driving home from the event I shared with my wife my concern with what I had learned about myself.  I needed some time to process what I was seeing and deal with the disease that had been uncovered.  Problem was, as most of us, my schedule was completely, and I mean every minute accounted for, full from that point until I walked out of church this morning.  So I have had very little time to think through what happened.  But, it has been on my mind the whole time.

My gifts and drivers were not given me by the Lord for my benefit.  I know that.  I can give you the chapter and verse to validate that – Romans 12:4 – 5; 1 Corinthians 12:7; Ephesians 4:7, 11 – 12.  I have found though, that it is really easy to get proud of what I accomplish through what He has done through the gifts and drivers with which He has equipped me.  It is not about me.  It is about Him.  His reign.  His Kingdom.  His people.  My gifts, abilities, and drivers, are His tools, for His glory not mine.  When I chafe at not getting recognition, I have lost sight of that.  Actually, I have moved away from serving Him, to serving myself.